Weakness &Strength

Everyone I know has always either loved or hated that I was an impenetrable wall. I've always had difficulty confiding in anyone, including my own family &blood. There are very few people who've admired the strength that I've had since I was a kid. I've gone through a lot of things that have weighed heavy on my tiny body, &my family has gone through enough as it is as well.

But if there's one person that I've learned to trust &love is my best friend Albert. That boy or well, man... has such a head on his shoulders. He's smart, patient, caring &considerate &most importantly understanding. I've always turned to him for just about anything. He was there for me when I came out to my parents. He was there for me when I had a "blonde moment", even though he made fun of me more lol. &He was there for me during my last break up, which unfortunately turned out ugly, but now thankfully is balancing itself out. He's never once failed me.

&Now, tomorrow morning (06.30.09) he leaves to Utah to train for a two year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (Yes, the Mormons.) &Soon there after, in about a month. He's off for two years to preach the gospel to those in Mendoza, Argentina. Two years. Imagine me, my best friend is leaving for two years.

I'm not one to be emotional in front of people, or much less...cry! But yesterday, he was set apart as a missionary. I balled. I cried. I choked up. But it was all mixed emotions, I hysterical because I was beginning to realize that he was actually leaving. But, I was also happy for him, &so proud of him. It takes great courage &faith to sacrifice two years of your life to serve the Lord and the people. It took me about 10 to 15minutes to compose myself. I was like lost. I didn't know what to do or what to say. Because I could no longer hug him, only shake his hand, since he was officially a missionary. I literally stood in front of him &smiled &teared, shook his hand...sort of. It was very very weird. I didn't know what to do. It sucked, it really did. Here's proof lol.

But now I can only think about the great things he's going to do as a missionary in Argentina. I know for a fact that this will impact his life greatly. He's a fighter and a lover, so he will be capable of amazing things out there. He has a great personality &he's just an overall great person. He's going to capture lives out there. He's gonna do wonderful things. I know it, he'll be an amazing missionary. I know this.

Although seeing him leave at the airport is going to be difficult. I'm going to be strong for him, &support him 100% He knows that. I might cry. But I'm being strong. As strong as I can be. Either way, I'm very happy and proud, and I love Elder Albert David Orduna. He's my best friend. &I'll see again when I'm 21.

I have an interview with Mr. Cookie tomorrow at 11am. I wonder how much of a mess I'll be looking. Ha! Anyway. Aright.

Albert, if you get a chance to read this. &I'll see you tomorrow, &I'll see you in two years man. God bless you on your amazing journey. You'll do amazing things. Know I will always be here, &I'll be writing you. Love you bee-eff-eff-eff [:

cakesout!

Meet Me In Montauk

So I'm not sure if you can read that...but it's just basically a screen shot of well obviously my screen, when I read that classes were canceled...due to the massive amounts of snow coming our way! I have a weird love/hate relationship with snow. I guess I hate it because of the cold. I can't stand the cold. My family was born in El Salvador &well obviously it's a very tropical area. &I've been raised there, though I was born in good ol' New York! ( :
But, I love snow because it's peaceful looking (when it's not being tainted with dirt or leaves or shoes prints all over). But when that snow is falling it's so quiet, pure, and again...peaceful. It's so crisp. I love the smell of winter. &I love the sound of it crunching under my feet. Snow makes me feel like a kid again.

&Not to mention, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. What an amazing movie. Based in Long Island (Rockville Center, Montauk) It's Jim Carrey (whom I love &adore) &Kate Winslet as the main characters, &in it is Mark Ruffalo, Kirstin Dunst &Elijah Wood, amongst others. I don't want to go into explaining the movie cos I'm gonna fuck it up.
But regardless there's a part where they're in Montauk &it's freezing, &the ground is covered with snow. I have been wanting to go so badly since then.
I kind of want to go by myself. But there's also that want to go with someone I'm crazy in love with you know? Kinda lame &sappy I know. There's nothing wrong with being a tinsy bit sappy every once in a blue! Right? Right. [=

It's so sweet, cos basically they erase each other from their memories...like literally. They go see some secret company about it. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338013/) This should tell you more about the movie, or just google it. I'm sure Wikipedia will have something on it lol. But anyway, they eventually find each other in Montauk. They both did such an amazing job in this movie. It's sort of an indie film, I'd say. So,
if you haven't seen it. I suggest you totally do. It's not a new movie or
anything, I just love it. &it made me love snow just a tiny bit, making me want to take the LIRR to Montauk just to be at the beach when the sand was overwhelmed with snow.

Aright. Anyway, I'm just glad I had the day off, on a Monday. Cos I have a paper for Eng102 which was due today &I have yet to start. But I will do some today &some tomorrow so I have it ready for Wednesday morning at 8am!
On that note, I leave you.

Peace &Love.

Yes We Can

Barack Obama. One of the most inspirational men today. I swear, I feel a little bit better about where this country is going every time this man speaks. He has some powerful words.
I felt prideful when he was announced into the room...The President of the United States. &I just want to point out how popular this man is, it took him a while to finally get up to that podium. Everyone wanted to shake his hand. Everyone stood up and applauded, everyone cheered for him. You can tell that he is so well put together, and not to mention handsome (: AND ALSO, his wife? Michelle Obama is beautiful, for the First Lady. She has impeccable style as well.
I'm glad that he's not hiding behind the podium and the truth. When he was running for President he had a different tone, (and this was mentioned soon there after the speech) he was almost scaring the nation about the state of the economy, that we might not be able to pull out of this. But in this speech he was more optimistic &hopeful. But they also mentioned, that in a sense he was preparing the nation for what was to come. I've been fucked by the economy, especially my father. &my father is one of the strongest men I know...he's been through so much shit, but he still does everything and anything he can to continue working to support our family. The impact of the recession is REAL. I'm not gonna go on about the economy cos I don't want to be here all night.
I think what inspired me, or touched me the most, was when he spoke about education. If there's one thing I can grab from all of the things my parents have taught me, it would be "Go to school, get an education, get a degree, and get a career! In this world, without an education or a career, you're no one." It's so true. Even Obama mentioned it, in the global economy the most valuable skill is your knowledge. The way he spoke about high school dropouts should have been a smack in the face to all those kids who dropped out, mostly for no reason. I even felt like...DAMN GOOD THING I DIDN'T DROP OUT, DON'T WANNA DISAPPOINT OBAMA! Lol. &Not to mention that little girl from South Carolina. "We're not quitters" That's amazing that the children of America realize that we're not gonna go down without a fight. People told her that they had no chance, no hope. It's incredible how much that girl had, to write to congress. My boyfriend (a Marine...Obama acknowlegded them yayy :D) even said, "I want to print that out &post it up...it seems like we've forgotten that...that's like our motto...we're not quitters." &It's true, we're a nation that does not quit.
Aright, well anyway...I gotta get to sleep. It's 12:36am &I have an 8am class. &I have terrible sleeping patterns, so if I start trying to get to sleep now...I just might fall asleep....eventually. OKAY! Nighhttt. ( :

Tongue Tied

I've been thinking and thinking what to blog about ALL DAY! &I was just thinking, how often do we stereotype, and what makes us do it? I'm not saying it's wrong or anything. But today, someone told me (a certain, and only follower of mine) that I seemed like the type of girl who would blog. Also, that I dressed like a girl from the lower east side. Both of which I don't mind or am offended by.
&It's weird, I've never really thought about it..cos I do have a lot to say so I guess I would be a type of girl who would blog. &I live in Long Island but I can never get enough of the city, so living in the Lower East Side would be amazing for me haha.
Anyway...let's think for a second...when I say a word, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Let's try...MEXICAN. Easy, you think of a cholo, or someone hopping the border, who doesn't speak a word of English or mows lawns. Let's be honest, you thought of at least one of those...maybe even all. But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?! Is it our own faults? Society's fault? Or is it really the case. Are all Mexican's like that? Yeh, definitely not.
Lol, the weird thing is...a lot of hispanics seem to hate Mexicans. I don't hate them, but sometimes there are some Mexicans that I seriously wish I could smack across the face. They're just so cocky for NO reason. I mean, don't get me wrong some are cool. I don't think I've met a mexican that I can admire.
But I will tell you that I love Frida Kahlo! I have to give it to that woman. She's entirely genius. Her artwork, to me, simply breathtaking. I seriously wish I had that talent, that she did. I am an artist, I'm a photographer, and I draw. But I don't think I've ever really painted. I would love to. I want to dedicate an entire day to just painting, drawing, drowning my self in charcoal, paint, graphite, paper clippings, I want my mind to fry in artistic drive.
Anyway, I'm ranting on too much. Let me stop here before I never end.
Maybe next time, I'll have something much more interesting to talk about.